Bad Friends Tales
by webcomix
Summary: Exactly What It Says On The Tin: Short stories featuring the BFT! The same AU as my other fic, World Wide Story. Meaning fem!Prussia, Italies, etc...will update whenever the mood strikes. Rated only for the occasional bad language.
1. Fail Tower

**A/N: I'm in a one-shot writing mood this week, so here you go! Realized that these are longer than drabbles are supposed to be, so not calling them drabbles anymore...  
**

**Story #1: FAIL TOWER  
Inspired by ~zulenha and =kitsuneangel's fanart on dA, "APH - Fail Tower"**

**Axis Powers Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya.  
Lackadaisy belongs to Tracy Butler.  
Aladdin belongs to Walt Disney Pictures.**

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It was a typical Wednesday night in spring, meaning Lovina was hunched over her laptop, as usual. Had she gone over every single article on TV Tropes already? It was very possible by this point. Perhaps she should check out a webcomic. That one called _Lackadaisy_ sounded good. But she wasn't sure about anthropomorphic cats wielding machine guns...

A loud rustle broke through the stillness, startling her. The noise had come from her open screen door that led onto the balcony. Lovina froze as she heard a voice hissing through the darkness.

"Watch it, butterfingers!"

"Gilly, mon ami, I didn't think anyone used that term anymore..."

"SHHHHH!"

Lovina let out a small hmph and closed her laptop. Those guys never knew when to stop. Careful not to make any noise, she quietly slipped out the door and onto the balcony. And automatically shivered. Just because it was spring didn't mean that it wasn't cold. But it was too late to try to find a sweater, because there were definitely grunts of exertion and the sound of grappling fingers wafting up towards her.

After waiting for a few more seconds, Lovina poked her head over to peer at them. Sure enough, Gillian, Francis and Antonio were down there. Actually, Gillian was the only one on the ground. Francis was balancing on her shoulders, with Antonio was teetering precariously on his. Lovina rolled her eyes and leaning one elbow onto the railing, casually rested her chin in one hand.

"'Sup, assholes."

Three heads jerked up towards the greeting. Antonio immediately broke out into an ecstatic smile.

"Lovi! We were going to surprise you, but I guess that's done now..."

Francis twisted his neck back to shoot Lovina a grin as well, but it resembled a leer as opposed to a lovestruck gaze.

"Lovina, my princess! Good to see you on this fine evening."

Gillian didn't bother feigning cheerfulness.

"Damn it, you guys," she grumbled. "Why the hell am I on the bottom? Did you eat a million fancy lambchops or something tonight, Francis?"

The tower of teenagers swayed dangerously as a chilly breeze caused Gillian to shiver. Lovina didn't move a muscle.

"Who's genius idea was this? Let me guess. Tomato bastard?"

Antonio was busy trying to stay upright by holding onto the balcony's smooth underside.

"Eh? Oh! No, we were watching _Aladdin_ at Gilly's and she said that the part when he goes to Jasmine's room on the magic carpet was kinda romantic, then Francis remembered you have a balcony too so we decided to come here and try it!"

"And I take it all back!" yelled the irritated girl who was struggling to hold up the others.

Francis felt his foot slip.

"Tonio, watch ou-"

"_Loviiiiiiiiiiiii!_"

A terrific crash echoed down the street. Lovina surveyed the heap of teenagers down below her.

"...You guys FAIL."

With that, she turned on her heel and strode back into her room.

On the ground, Francis was the first to recover. He sat up, leaning back on his arms, beaming.

"So! That went well, non?"

Antonio didn't reply, only rubbing his head, wincing. But still smiling. Any unprecedented meeting with his precious Lovi was pure, unadulterated joy for him. Gillian was less than thrilled. The reason why Francis was in the least pain was because he'd landed on top of her. Getting to her feet, she savagely gave him a kick before stomping off.

"I am NEVER watching a Disney movie with either of you again."


	2. MURDER BLOODY MURDER

**Story #2: MURDER, BLOODY MURDER**

**A/N: I told you I'd update often! =D  
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**I remember reading a book when I was a lot younger, and in one chapter some kids sat around and screamed 'MURDER, BLOODY MURDER' over and over again just to see reactions, but I don't remember what it was anymore. Sounds like a BFT thing to me though.**

**I'd say this story takes place in their preteens.**

**Axis Powers Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya.  
'Baking is Science For Hungry People' belongs to Jeph Jacques. As far as I know, anyway.**

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If Gillian Beilschmidt was a frequent character in your play of a life, things seemed terribly boring without her. So when she and her family went on a two week vacation, Antonio and Francis quickly found themselves lacking harebrained schemes of the same ridiculous caliber as those that sprouted from her mind. This is why one July afternoon, they were lying in the grass at the nearby park, quiet and motionless.

"Wanna go get ice cream?" Antonio ventured.

Francis shook his head, even though his buddy wouldn't be able to see him. Then he brightened. "Hey, can we go bother Artie?"

"Can't. He went fishing with the Jones family, right?"

"Oh yeah."

They were silent once more, staring gloomily at the clouds floating above them. It was a perfect day to be outside, but quite frankly, the boys didn't know what to do. Antonio sat up.

"Have you ever heard anyone scream bloody murder?' "

Francis rolled over onto his belly, one eyebrow raised.

"Never. Why?"

"People are always talking about screaming bloody murder. But nobody actually says, 'Murder, bloody murder!' " Sunlight reflected off his green eyes with an excited gleam. "Maybe we can conduct an experiment."

"Conduct an experiment?" Francis hooted. "Who do you think you are - Mr. Carriedo, the Science Weirdo?"

"We're into science! Growing tomatoes is like biology. And baking is science for hungry people!"

"What about Gilly?"

There was a pause as the dark haired boy took a moment to think. "Well, she likes things that blow up. Explosions are science-y."

Francis scooted up into a sitting position, not caring about the grass stains on his shirt. "Oui. Experiment it is. What happens when you yell..."

They threw their heads back, shouting for all they were worth.

"MURDER! BLOODY MURDER!"

The family of four a few metres from them continued their picnic. The college kids, on a break from their summer courses, glanced over at them, but went on with their game of Frisbee. Antonio shrugged.

"MURDER! BLOODY MURDER!"

This time, the parents turned around. One of the college students tripped on a rock and glared at them. A girl walking her dog stopped to throw them a dirty look.

"Shut up, you dumb brats!"

Well, that had been slightly more interesting than before. Francis was about to tell Antonio that perhaps they should try something else when a large shadow fell over them.

"Hi, Antonio. Hi, Francis. Whatcha doin'?"

Even though the weather was nearing 30 degrees Celsius, the newcomer was still clad in a long tan coat. A scarf had been wound around his neck a few times, and was long enough to trail along the ground. In his hand was a stretch of metal pipe.

Antonio gulped. "Oh...hi, Ivan. We're doing an experiment."

"Really? What kind of experiment?"

Francis laughed nervously. "Doesn't matter. It failed."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Ivan began loping away serenely. "I'm busy today too. Nice talking to you!"

"Bye..." Antonio called after him weakly. Francis grabbed his arm. Two pairs of eyes, one blue and one green, followed the trail of dread that the Russian boy had left in his wake - minuscule drops of scarlet were leaking out of the pipe that he absentmindedly dragged along the ground.

The two friends turned to each other, mirroring expressions of horror. Then with one, simultaneous breath -

"MURDER! BLOODY MURDER!"


	3. A Typical Saturday

**Story #3: A Typical Saturday In the Hetalia Neighborhood  
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**A/N: This one is probably when they're much, much younger. 7 or 8 year olds, perhaps?  
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**Axis Powers Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya.**

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Sadiq was quite tired. He'd spent all day at the park testing out his new kite. It had been great fun, but now his arms were a little sore from holding on, and his legs ached from running to get it every time it broke free. More than once, he'd thought it was a goner.

Luckily, the bright red cloth was now firmly in his hands. Sadiq plodded along, knowing each foot forward was one step closer to home, where he could finally kick off his shoes and fall onto the couch, exhausted...

"KESESESESESESESE!"

Instinct kicking in, Sadiq jumped aside as Gillian sprinted past him, laughing triumphantly. Antonio was on her heels, hefting an enormous piñata that resembled a large, mint-green bunny. With wings, of all things. Francis brought up the rear, skipping nimbly along and scooping up any piece of candy that fell out onto the concrete.

Sadiq was speechless, his jaw slack as he watched the trio cross the street haphazardly. As the bunny in his arms was almost as big as he was, Antonio was now prone to bumping into things. Another shout caused him to jump in alarm again.

"GET BACK HERE AND I'LL GIVE YOU WHAT'S FOR, YOU THIEVING GITS!"

Arthur came running after them and waving a stick, blindfold pushed above his famed eyebrows. The choicest of curses tumbled out of his mouth and were hurled in the three rascals' direction.

Sadiq blinked at the fallen streamers as the noise gradually faded away. Then he picked up his kite and continued his journey home.

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**A/N: I don't know why Arthur has a piñata and Antonio doesn't. *shrug* Maybe that's why he took it.**


	4. CrayCray is a Stupid Euphemism

**Story #4: 'Cray Cray' Is A Stupid Euphemism for 'Crazy', Stop Using It Please**

**A/N: I just wanted to write some Feliks, and this is what happened. **

**Axis Powers Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya.**

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Feilks wrinkled his nose. "So, like, do you EVER act like a girl?"

Gillian shot him a dark look, refusing to remove her muddy boots from the cafeteria tabletop where she had propped them up. "So, like, do you EVER act like a guy?"

"Whoa." He snapped his fingers at the glowering person in front of him with a sassy flick of the wrist."Don't be hatin' on me just because I'm so like, in touch with my feminine side. I totally believe that like, EVERYONE is biaffectionate, deep down. Or whatever. Anyway, at least I'm like, respected for who I am."

Ooh. Wrong thing to say. In a flash, the pale haired girl was up on both feet, rage flashing from her dark red eyes.

"The awesome me gets all the respect I deserve!" she shouted. "And anyone challenging that is going to get his vital regions crushed to a pulp, understand?"

Feliks sighed dramatically. "Don't go all cray-cray, Gilly darling...one day you're going to wake up and totally psych yourself out when you see a sad ol' hag in the mirror." He threw back an unconcerned wave as he sauntered off. "Totes!"

Gillian stalked away, a terrible scowl that could rival a certain Italian girl's gracing her features. Moodily kicking the door open, she entered the courtyard, plowing through a crowd of mortified sophomores. She reached the far sidewalk in due time.

"Yo, guys!" she yelled, ignoring the squawks of surprise coming from the two freshmen she had just shoved aside. Two boys looked up from the handheld gaming device that was in the darker one's hands. Antonio had to save money to care for his wreck of a car, so usually he sated his video game cravings with Francis's DS. But an angry Gillian was far more important than racing digital cars around a cartoon track.

He hopped off the fire hydrant he'd been perched on. "What's wrong, Gilly?"

"What do you see me as?" she demanded.

The Spanish boy could only blink at her in bewilderment. "Uhhh..." He turned to Francis for support.

However, the blond was equally confused. "What do you mean?"

Gillian kicked up one leg onto the fire hydrant, picking at the scab forming on her left knee. "That magenta-colorblind idiot, Feliks, says nobody sees me as a girl. What does he know? He thinks HE'S one." She glared at them. "Would you guys treat me differently if I were more girly?"

For a moment, Antonio was lost in thought. Then he said, "I can't see you as being girly."

Francis was also looking hard at her, as if trying to envision his tomboy friend in frills and lace. "Not a pretty sight, Gill."

Another bad thing to say in front of Gillian Beilschmidt. She snatched them both up by the collars of their jackets, and hollered into their faces.

"What? Screw you! I'm awesome! In every way! I could be prettier than anyone we know!" She shoved them back.

"Now seriously. What would you do different if I was more like..." She grimaced. "Say, Feliciana?"

Antonio and Francis stared at her. Then at each other. Suddenly, Gillian felt a tiny prickle of fear, the smallest little nudge of apprehension creeping into her belly. This had never, EVER happened to her, especially around her two best friends. As Francis and Antonio continued locking eyes, identical grins began growing on both faces.

"H-hey," she said weakly. "What the hell are you guys thinking abou-"

Instincts kicking in, Gillian tried to run, but both boys had pounced. She struggled violently as they attempted to envelop her in their arms.

"Awww, Gilly! You said you wanted us to treat you like a girl!"

"Yeah! And unlike you...we LOVE girls!"

Gillian automatically remembered Francis's favorite pastime whenever he found a poor, unsuspecting female (or male, he wasn't picky) soul. Antonio was also infamous for his long-winded cuddle sessions - Lovina Vargas would be all too willing to testify. So appropriately, she began to shriek.

"HELP! HELP ME, GODDAMNIT! I'M BEING SMOTHERED BY AFFECTION!"

The world was deaf to her cries. Feliks was going to _pay_.

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**A/N: I've always wanted to use the line, "Help! Help! I'm being smothered by affection!" but sadly, it hasn't happened to me yet :C As Gillian ends up being my shameless self-insert from time to time, I decided she should get the honour.**

**I pretty much based Feliks' vocab off a few of my friends who use a lot of weird slang. But come on, he sooo sounds like, amaymay. Like, totes.**


	5. Arthur, You Pansy

**Story #5: Arthur, You Pansy. Quit Complaining**

**A/N: This sprouted from a very small detail I added in WWS. Plot bunnies, they come in all shapes and sizes. But I am equally vulnerable to every rabid spitball they ply me with. Yes. I have decided that's their plan of attack. Spitballs were fairly formidable when I used them in ze good ol' days of middle school. Okay, that's another story...**

**This one has a confirmed time frame. September of their junior year.**

**Axis Powers Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya.**

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Gillian shivered with excitement. She was waiting for the others at the designated place, the spectator seating above the indoor skating rink. It had been one whole day already, and they had all sworn to reveal their new secret only to each other, and at the same time.

Arthur was the first to show up, even though he wasn't officially part of their little club. The fact that he had moved to their city after its founding probably contributed, although there also was that whole thing of not thinking Gillian was as awesome as she said she was...and it had taken Antonio a while to approve of him, what with the whole swim team race thing and all. But still, he came along to a lot of their fun escapades, and had actually suggested this one.

"Mine itches, damn it. Where are the others?" He glanced down at his waist, torn jeans dragging under his black shirt. "I've got other things to do."

"Like what? Are you still working on that dumb proposal for a punk rock _Midsummer Night's Dream_? Nobody's interested."

He shot her his most imposing, haughty look. "For your information, Miss Gillian, a modernization of that type is highly possible and probably already done. I'm just adding my own ideas for the stage and costume design, along with some melodies for the faeries' songs..."

"Salut, mes amis!"

Francis and Antonio finally appeared, strolling nonchalantly up to them. Gillian turned to them, grinning in anticipation.

"Awesome!" She grabbed the bottom of her shirt. "On the count of three, we all do it, okay?"

Antonio nodded, ready to pull his up as well, but Francis stopped them. "Why don't we go one by one, as to properly admire each of them? It's better than chaotic yelling...and people are going to notice."

Arthur sighed, but didn't argue. Gillian was eager to see them all, but saw the wisdom in his words.

"Fine. 'Tonio, what did you get?"

The tanned teenager grinned and lifted his shirt, revealing a large bandage right above his hip. Peeling it off, he proudly displayed his new tattoo to the other three, who peered down at it.

"I might have known."

"Well, it's actually kind of cool."

"At least we can say it's very Antonio."

A bull was frozen in time, pawing at the ground and snorting fiercely. However, the bad-assery had been distracted by the fact that he had a tomato as a background.

"Yeah..." Antonio scratched his head. "The artist didn't believe me at first."

Francis was next. He had to pull the edge of his shorts down too in order to show off the entire image, prompting Arthur to scoot away from him.

"Sexy."

"Yeah, HER sexiness makes up for your distinct lack of it."

"The roses are really well drawn too."

Arthur's skin was still red around the edges, but he did have the biggest one after all.

"You were able to withstand THAT? I'm impressed, Artie."

"See, this artist IS really good. Look at the detail. Count it, six strings."

"Hardcore, man."

Arthur quickly pulled down his shirt and buckled his belt again, the light glinting off the studs. "Gill, it's your turn."

She smiled, savouring the limelight that was finally hers. With a flick of her shirt, she ripped off her own bandage. The boys scrutinized her skin.

"What is it supposed to mean?"

"Typical Beilschmidt."

"Hey, don't go insulting Ludwig like that."

Gillian looked down at her new tattoo with pride. A plump yellow chick grinned back at her, with a big speech bubble pointing from its beak.

_I'M AWESOME!_

"What it means, Antonio, is that I'm awesome."

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**A/N: ...Actually, the spitball story isn't that long. Basically, there was me and this girl who often squabbled in class, normally English and Science. During Science, our teacher was a lot more relaxed than most, so I'd blow spitballs at her. He wasn't so relaxed that I got off detention though, sadly. Wow, I had nine detentions that year. We were rather like Gillian and Elizabeta, now that I think about it.**

**This one is more of just a way for me to let out my detail-mongering in this AU C: And, I think they're all going to regret their tats sometime in the future. Arthur may feel pretty hardcore, but he's really just a big fat theatre dork deep down (we all have our punk rock rebellion phase, anyway…right?).**


	6. Captain Alfred, He's a Hero!

**Story #6: Captain Alfred, He's A Hero, Gonna Take Pollution Down to Zero!**

**A/N: It's true.**

**Axis Powers Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya.  
Captain Planet and the Planeteers belongs to Ted Turner, DiC Entertainment and Hanna-Barbera Productions.**

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"Pleeeeeeeeeease, Artie?" Alfred begged.

The other boy's thick brows knitted together as he frowned.

"No. It's stupid."

"But wouldn't you want a magical ring?" insisted Antonio. Francis and Gillian nodded enthusiastically. "We can add that you can do spells with them!"

Arthur sighed in resignation. "Fine. I'm going to regret this."

He held out his hand. Happily, Alfred slid the little plastic ring onto his finger. Francis was oddly reminded of a wedding ceremony he'd attended with his father last September, but decided not to mention it.

Gillian held up her right hand, where an identical band was resting on her index finger.

"Ready? Go!"

Antonio pointed his fist downward.

"Earth!"

Gillian imitated the move with gusto.

"Wind!"

Alfred nearly punched the ground.

"Fire!"

Francis didn't jab, but rather flicked his wrist with a delicate flourish.

"Water!"

Arthur groaned.

"Heart."

Alfred quickly straightened, trying to tug the ring off his finger before he could run to the centre of their small circle.

"By your powers combined, I am..." he trailed off in surprise as the soil beneath him began to tremble. The others screamed and ran for cover - meaning, the nearby bush.

"Arthur, what did you DO?"

"Nothing!" This time, those eyebrows shot way above frightened green eyes. "I don't know what's going on!"

He squeaked as the ground in front of Alfred (who had frozen in place, because heroes were ready to face the supernatural...not because he was too scared to move or anything) cracked open. The bush's leaves quivered as the other four children shrank away from the emerging figure. It shook its hair free of the dirt and pebbles.

"You called?" Ivan chirped brightly.

Francis would never make fun of his cousin for wetting the bed ever again.


	7. Gilly and Tonio are Too Easily Amused

**Story #7: In Which Gilly and Tonio Are Easily Amused  
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**A/N: And also to emphasize the fact that I don't actually up the ante on British speech mannerisms all that much...  
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**Axis Powers Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya.**

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Francis gaped at his now sopping wet top.

"Gillian!" he cried. "Look what you've done! What am I gonna do?"

The girl in question was still swept up in gales of the giggles. Chortling feebly, she attempted to answer, but to no avail. Clearly ticked, Francis turned to Antonio, but he too only spluttered with mirth, swaying as if he was about to fall over from his giddiness.

"Guys, it was funny at first, but it will NOT save this silk," Francis snapped. "It's dry clean only!"

"Eh, ol' chap! Don't get your bloody knickers in a twist, yeh jolly ol' blightah," Antonio quipped before he and Gillian clung onto each other again, screaming with laughter.

Gillian was so lost in her amusement, tears were leaking from her eyes. She shoved Antonio away and grabbed her sides, struggling for some normal breathing.

"Heeheehee...sorry Fra...ahahaha, it's just...Kirkland imitation day..."

"Wot, wot," the green eyed boy added. Gillian's eyes widened and knees weakening, she finally slid down the wall, turning into a helpless heap of snorts and cackles on the floor. Her foot kicked the now empty soda can whose contents had, a few minutes earlier, accidentally found a new home on Francis's torso.

The blond boy fumed, all hilarity lost on him.

"You two are SO immature," he declared angrily stalking away to leave his friends rolling on the floor. As he turned the corner, he nearly bumped into one very unfortunate classmate of his.

"Oh, Francis," Arthur began. "I've started _Le Misanthrope__,_and I was wondering if you could help me with it since some translators are rather unrelia-"

He was cut off as the blond gave him a venomous glare and rudely pushed him aside.

"Faut péter dans l'eau pour faire des bulles, Kirkland!"

Francis stormed away and Arthur stood there, completely bewildered.

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**A/N: Translation for French: "Go fart in water and make bubbles." I got this off a website and it was too funny NOT to use.**

**PS. I love **_**Le Misanthrope**_**, one of my favourite plays. It'd make for a great high school teen movie, in my opinion. Like those chick flicks from the 90s, ie. **_**She's All That **_**or **_**10 Things I Hate About You **_**(which, by the way, are based on **_**Pygmalion**_** and **_**Taming of the Shrew**_**, respectively). Apart from the fact that, well...I don't wanna spoil it for you. READ THE PLAY!**

***theatre nerds off into the sunset with Artie***


	8. HETALIA HALLOWEEN!

**SPECIAL: Hetalia Halloween!**

**A/N: I have a pillow I bought at Ani-Com, the really huge Hong Kong comic convention that happens every summer. It says "HETALIA HALLOWEEN" on it and features the Axis, Allies, Romano, Prussia, Spain and Canada, all of them in costume! It's so very cute! Everyone's costume is thus based on my pillow, so if you are confused, don't worry, because I am too…**

**Axis Powers Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya.**

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It was a chilly evening, but that wouldn't hinder any child on their epic quest for delicious treats. Gillian stomped her foot impatiently by the front door.

"Hurry UP, Ludwig! Francis and Antonio are waiting for us!"

Her eight year old brother didn't speed up the process of putting on his coat, shooting her a dour look. "But I don't really want to go…"

"Are you nuts? It's the one time of the year when people actually let ME have as much candy as I want! Come on!"

Before Ludwig was even finished putting on his shoes, Gillian had kicked the door open and bounded gleefully into the night. Sure enough, on the sidewalk directly in front of them, Francis and Antonio were chatting excitedly. Antonio's little red hat kept on falling off.

Gillian skidded to a halt, striking a pose with her costume's prop. "Awesome! Where are we going first?"

"How about Vash's place?" Antonio suggested. "They always have chocolate."

"Let's only go if Vash isn't there himself."

"Sadiq's house?"

"Ohh! Yeah, that's a good one."

The four of them began to wander aimlessly down the path without thinking too much. Other packs of children, mostly being herded about by adults, passed them on the street. Ludwig eyed their bulging bags of candy.

"Gill, shouldn't we have waited until papa came downstai…"

"I know! Let's go to my grandfather's place," Francis interrupted. "He moved here in September and I bet he'll give us extra!"

"Awesome! Let's do this!" Gillian seized Ludwig's arm and practically dragged him down the road. "To Mr. Roma's!"

The man in question had been cheerfully answering his doorbell for the past hour and a half, cooing happily over the adorable sights that shuffled awkwardly at his front door. At the moment, he was taking a brief respite from the callers by pouring himself a cup of coffee in the kitchen. His last Trick-or-Treaters had been two young boys – one who had been quite offended when Mr. Roma had complimented his witch costume.

"I'm a MAGE," he huffed crossly, waving his magic wand in the older man's face. "Can't you tell?" The boy pulled out a small puppet out of his pocket. "I have a pumpkin sprite to aid me, so you better give me some sweets or I'll -"

"Aw, chill out, Artie!" said the other boy. Mr. Roma had not been able to understand what he was supposed to be, and the child excitedly informed him that he was a Franken-hero, though by what means remained to be revealed. He was still contemplating the outfit long after they'd left, and was quite startled when the doorbell went off again, this time coupled with heavy banging.

"TRICK OR TREAT OR TRICK OR TREAT OR TRICK…"

"Alright, I'm coming!" Mr. Roma pulled open the door, and broke into a wide grin when he saw the four kids standing in front of him. "Francis!"

"Bonsoir, grand-pere," he chirped, and didn't refrain from a hug. "These are my friends! 'Tonio, Gilly, and Luddy."

The smallest figure's blue eyes darted upwards in embarrassment. Mr. Roma squealed happily.

"Oh, you have such cute costumes! Let me guess," he gasped excitedly. He pointed at Ludwig first. "You're a little teddy bear!"

Ludwig blushed even redder than the costume on Antonio, who Mr. Roma had turned to next. "And you're…a Jack-o-Lantern?"

"Close!" Antonio flashed him his famous smile. "Tomato!"

"Oh, alright. Francis, I see you're following your mama's footsteps."

"Oui," Francis smirked and held up the frying pan, which he had used to store the candy from the houses they hadn't been able to pass up along the way. He used it to gesture towards the top of his head, spilling a few pieces. "Except I have raccoon ears! Don't forget that!"

"Ah, I see. And you…" Gillian beamed as Mr. Roma stared blankly at her costume. "I'm sorry, I don't think I understand."

"MY costume is the most awesome," she declared. She struck the same pose as before, causing the older man to step back in alarm as bright metal points nearly slashed his face. "I'm A PRIEST WITH WOLVERINE CLAWS!"

Mr. Roma surveyed the little group with a small smile. They made an incredibly cute group, although some of these costume choices had been rather…unconventional. Gillian was now making growling noises and slashing at his daisies, then flashing a crucifix at them.

"Do you trick-or-treaters want to come inside?" He opened the door wide for them. "I can get you cookies while you fill up your bags."

"YAY! Francis, your grandpa is really awesome." Gillian shoved the crucifix most carelessly back into her pocket before running inside. The boys quickly followed. Mr. Roma ushered them into the living room.

"Francis! Want to see what I got today?" Mr. Roma handed the young boy an envelope. "Your Aunt Rita sent me a photograph of Lovi and Feli's costumes! Aren't they cute?"

Francis pulled out the picture. Yes, his little cousins did look adorable in their long vampire capes. Feliciana looked anything but evil, gazing wide-eyed in awe at the photographer, but the vicious glare on Lovina's face indicated her wish to devour them right then and there.

He felt a nudge on his shoulder. Antonio rested his chin against Francis's arm, watching with interest. "Who's that?"

"My cousins. They live over in Bayville."

"Lemme see." Antonio plucked the photo out of his hands before Francis could say a word, and plopped down into the big armchair, holding it up until it nearly touched his nose.

"Ohhh!…so cute…"

The doorbell went off again. Mr. Roma opened the door to see a nervous little black-haired girl and a smiling Asian woman. The child held up her little pumpkin out to him timidly.

"Trick or treat?"

"Happy Halloween to you, too!" The girl blushed and took a step back, nearly teetering over were it not for the steadying hand of her mother. The older woman smiled.

"What do you say, Kiku?"

"Thank you…"

"That's a very nice costume," Mr. Roma said admiringly. Kiku just blushed and shuffled behind her mother again. "Did you make it yourself?"

Mrs. Honda laughed. "Yes, we did. It's a traditional Japanese folklore character, a nine-tailed fox."

"Oh, I can see that! Looks a little heavy." Mr. Roma felt a nudge against his leg and saw Ludwig standing next to him. Kiku was surprised.

"Ludwig-san?"

"Kiku?" Ludwig looked far more relaxed now that there were two adults present. "Happy Halloween."

"Yes…"

"Would you like to come with us?" Mrs. Honda smiled and held out her hand to the blond in the bear costume.

Mr. Roma shrugged. He'd noticed that Ludwig didn't seem to be as…energetic as the others. Ludwig left happily, trailing his bat-decorated bag on the ground.

_CRASHBANGSHATTER!_

Francis poked his head nervously around the doorframe of the kitchen. "Ahhh….grand-pere…"

Mr. Roma wordlessly walked past the boy and stared at the sight before him. Antonio stood frozen on a chair, arms suspended in the air, reaching towards a jar of chocolate chips. Gillian was sprawled out on the floor, surrounded by a scattered pile of sugar and flour. Her short, silver-white hair was now dotted with a fine dusting of cinnamon.

And that is how Francis got banned from his grandfather's house for the next few months.

* * *

**A/N: Oh yes, I'm completely serious. This is exactly what they are wearing on my pillow. Some are normal enough: vampires, bear, witch, Jack-o-Lantern (tomato), and the nine-tailed fox idea is pretty cute. But a tanuki chef? Or a priest with Wolverine claws? I don't even know what America was supposed to be. He's got bolts sticking out of his head and an electrical plug dangling like a tail. *shrug* I never actually celebrated Halloween growing up. Trick or treating in apartment complexes aren't very fun, and most people living there wouldn't be aware of the tradition anyway.**

**Hope you're all stuffing your faces with delicious delectables!**


	9. So I Have A Self Insert In This Series

**Story #8: And Her Name is Gillian Beilschmidt**

**A/N: ****In this AU, I realize that only half the time do I consider these three as a Bad Friends Trio. Sometimes it's more like, the Silly Friends Duo plus their unofficial babysitter, Francis.**

**Axis Powers Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya.  
'Hit or Miss' belongs to New Found Glory.**

**

* * *

**

The wind was blowing hard as Antonio and Francis approached the Beilschmidt residence. It stirred up the dry, browned leaves, tossing them around in wide, sweeping circles. Francis trudged doggedly onwards, though Antonio ran after a few and leapt onto them, feeling the satisfying crunch beneath his feet.

By the time they were finally at the front walk, they could hear a faint thumping of music coming from the second floor. A smartly dressed woman burst out of the front door and briskly walked down the stairs, buttoning up her coat.

"Hey, Mrs. Beilschmidt," Francis called out. Antonio paused in his second attack on more tempting leaves to wave.

"Good morning, Francis, Antonio," she replied, pulling out a set of car keys. "Gillian's still upstairs, as you can probably tell. I'm dreadfully sorry – I would drive you there, but if I don't leave right now, I'll be missing an important meeting."

"That's okay, we can walk to the station!" Antonio assured her cheerfully as Francis pushed in the door. They could hear the sound of the BMW rev up, rumble out of the driveway and down the street as they entered the house.

Up the stairs, second door on the right. Antonio bobbed his head to the throbbing rhythm coming from the room, which evolved into straight-on blasting punk-pop when they opened the door.

_Remember the time we wrote our names upon the wall?  
Remember the time we realized Thriller was our favourite song?  
Have I waited too long?  
Have I found that someone?  
Have I waited too long,  
To see you?_

Ignoring Antonio humming along to the music, Francis headed to the stereo and turned the volume down. Automatically, a silver-crowned head popped up from behind the bed.

"Yo! Luddy, that was totally unawes…oh, hi guys," Gillian said brightly. She clambered back onto the mattress, dragging a slightly dusty garbage bag behind her.

"Gilly, what are you doing?" Antonio asked curiously as she upended the bag's contents onto the sheets.

"I can't find my super awesome armwarmers!" She began burrowing into the mass of random articles of clothing from the bag. As far as the boys could tell, they were all things Gillian wouldn't have worn in the past six years: blouses, long skirts, and even a couple of frilly socks. "It's so weird, because I usually leave 'em on my science pile…"

Francis walked over to the precarious stacks of books and binders that lined the wall next to the closet. He picked at the crumpled pieces of paper and other random things strewn all over them. "No armwarmers here, ma cherie."

The girl pouted and flopped onto the pile of clothes.

"Ughhh! I don't wanna leave without them. Those things are so awesome. They define me," she whined.

Antonio went over to Gillian's desk and began to rifle through the mounds of notebooks, toys, and accessories scattered upon it. Francis stood up and looked around the room. Thanks to Gillian's stubbornness and exceptional organization skills, they would surely be late for the event…

On a whim, he wandered over to the dresser and pulled open the first drawer. Peering in, he sighed before turning back to his friend.

"Gillian, what are these?" Francis held up two long, black tubes of fabric. Her sulking face automatically lit up.

"Awesome! Where were they?"

"Right here."

"Oh yeah, I forgot that I put them in there so they wouldn't get dirty after my mom washed them."

Francis couldn't help rolling his eyes and smiling as she happily worked her thumbs through the holes.

"'Kay, let's go. We only have half an hour to get there now."

"Gotcha, dude."

They had been walking down the sidewalk and had nearly reached the end of the street when Gillian suddenly halted.

"WAIT! I forgot my awesome iron cross earrings!" She took off at top speed towards the direction from where they'd just come. "Be right back!"

Antonio blinked. Francis groaned.

* * *

**A/N: I lost my own armwarmers about a month ago :C And I'd kind of established armwarmers as a kind of stylistic trademark for myself by that point. Then, a couple of weeks later, a friend presented me with a new pair after my show ended =D I was so happy!  
**

**And yes, I totally have iron cross earrings too =D**


	10. Francis, How Resourceful You Are

**Story #9: ...Though, That Kind Of Disturbs Us.**

**A/N: I haven't posted one of these in a really long time! But inspiration strikes at really random moments.**

**Axis Powers Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya.**

**

* * *

**

Antonio didn't know _how_ Francis had gotten a hold of a pair of handcuffs, but like everybody else, he wasn't surprised.

He was currently sitting in Algebra II, just across the aisle from Gillian. Francis, who had always been the smartest of the three, wasn't with them that period, having moved on towards Pre-Calculus. However, he had left the handcuffs in the care of their favourite silver-haired sophomore.

A very smart move, indeed…

The handcuffs were actually real. Solid metal rings connected by a sturdy chain. The only way to unlock them was by a tiny key that Francis was protecting at all costs from others. Which is why, Antonio thought, it was probably really bad idea to let Gillian alone with them for a whole hour and a half.

But, it was absolutely _hilarious _too.

Mrs. Kung was gazing sceptically at the grinning girl, who was dangling the device from her left wrist, where one end was tightly fastened.

"No worries, Mrs. K," she assured her. "I have figured out ALL the secrets of this thing!"

Next to her, Roderich let out an irritated snort. Once again, Antonio pondered the ridiculousness of this situation. It didn't make any sense at all to have these two particular students sitting next to one another. Gillian was forced to take the seat when she had come dashing in late, as it was the only unoccupied one. Now that he was thinking about it, Antonio realized that he probably should have saved a seat for her. He glanced to his right. Erik stared listlessly out the window, evidently not caring a single jot about logarithms. Leaning towards him, Antonio could sense a whiff of sickly-sweet aroma. It was rare for Erik to actually attend class, being the resident stoner of the school. Antonio regarded himself lucky for catching the elusive boy.

His thoughts were interrupted by Gillian's insistent voice.

"No, really! Look, it only locks when you close it all the way. I could totally do this -" Gillian slipped the other end around the leg of her desk. "And it's perfectly fine! I won't get stuck or anything, promise."

A comment like that was simply begging for it, but their math teacher simply sighed and returned to the front of the classroom, marker in hand. Gillian winked at Antonio and continued clicking the handcuffs obnoxiously. Roderich scooted his chair even further away from her, practically in the aisle now.

Matrices and polynomials had never held much interest for Antonio, so he ended up spending most of the time watching his friend loop the handcuffs around anything small enough to fit inside. From her water bottle to the chair, to Roderich's bag…

Roderich's bag.

It was one of those fancy messenger type deals, with a thick padded strap and secure belt fastener. It definitely created a contrast, from Gillian's battered old knapsack dotted with buttons to the carefully well kept leather satchel. Roderich was bent over his TI-83, busily graphing out a parabola. So Antonio was the only one who was looking when one of Gillian's fingers hooked around the two metal rings that kept the open flaps together.

"Gilly!" He jumped out of his seat, earning an irritated grunt from Erik. "Sto-"

_Click_.

She paused in surprise, and then melted into an expression of horror.

"NOOO!"

Roderich's head jerked back up and he shot her a glare. "What now?" His eyes travelled down to the back of his chair.

"…_GILLIAN!_"

"I didn't mean to!" Gillian began tugging her wrist away, but in vain. "Crap, and I just said I'd figured these out, too!"

Roars of laughter echoed throughout the classroom as Mrs. Kung tried to help her most irresponsible student, but to no avail. When class was let out fifteen minutes later, Antonio scooped up his books and hurried after his two panicked classmates.

Francis was mildly startled when he heard his name being shouted from down the hallways by two different voices. He was also mildly confused when Gillian and Roderich ran up to him together. Or rather, Gillian ploughing through the crowd, her left arm pulled back by a very expensive book bag dragging on the floor, with Roderich trying to pick it back up.

"Francis!" Gillian waved her wrist in his face. "Unlock this. Now."

With one glance, he took it all in. As Antonio caught up to them, panting, a smirk had spread across Francis's face.

"No way. This is the best thing I've seen all day."

"WHAT?"

"Hey! Not awesome, okay? Get it off me!"

"Francis!" Roderich spoke up again, pleading. "I can't even get into my bag at this point, and I have to hand in my book report to Miss Vincent next class!"

The bell chimed again, and Francis shrugged.

"Speaking of next class, sounds like it's time. Don't want to be late. Have fun, you two."

He slung an arm around Antonio's shoulders and herded him away from the horror-struck teenagers.

"Francis, you ass!"

"You are SO off my awesome list! Now and forever!"

* * *

**A/N: However random this seems, it actually has basis in real life. One of my closest friends in high school handcuffed herself to a water bottle in French class. It's a memory I shall always cherish.**

**My life is weird.**

**Also, math was easily my worst subject, so forgive me if I made a few mistakes there.**


	11. Trouble Choir

**Story #10: Trouble Choir**

**A/N: So I was rereading WWS for kicks and came across a line I threw in without really thinking about it. But it makes excellent BFT fodder. So I'm going to expand upon it!**

**I'm going to say they're in…second grade at this point. Because their voices can't have broken yet…  
**

**Axis Powers Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya.  
Bambi belongs to Walt Disney Pictures.**

* * *

"Hey! Hey guys!"

Francis grabbed Antonio's sleeve, causing him to stagger back a little. Gillian finally caught up to them, panting slightly.

"Let's go rollerblading on the boardwalk on the weekend? It'll be totally awesome!"

Antonio's face lit up at the prospect, but Francis shook his head. "We can't, Gilly. Sorry."

The little silver-haired girl was not so easily deterred, and her red eyes narrowed at the choice of words. "We?"

"…Um, yeah." The boys made the mistake of eyeballing each other surreptitiously. Gillian scowled.

"It's not awesome to make secrets without telling me!" She stomped forward and jabbed a finger against Francis's chest. "You suck at being a best friend! You too, 'Tonio!"

That was a little harsh, especially for the one who hadn't spoken a single word yet. Antonio's cheerful expression crumpled, morphing into one of worry as Francis and Gillian began to argue.

"You don't even know what we have to do. Stop being so unfair!"

"Unfair? You guys are the ones being unfair and unawesome and just super super sucky. Making plans behind my back and everything!"

"It's not our fault," Francis declared staunchly. "It was our moms' idea."

Gillian raised one eyebrow, frowning sceptically.

"We…we have choir practice."

There was a momentary pause as the two friends stared at each other. Then Gillian threw her head back and let out a scream of laughter.

"Are you _serious?_"

Francis shrugged, but Antonio piped up. "It's really fun! You should come!"

* * *

So that Saturday afternoon found the three of them tramping into Miss Julie's Treble Choir class at 3 PM. The kind-hearted conductor peered down at the children over her glasses.

"Good afternoon, Antonio, Francis. Who's your friend?"

Gillian stuck her hand out, beaming. "I'm Gill, and I'm awesome!"

"Nice to meet you. Is this your first time singing?"

"I can totally sing! Do I have to sing for you first? Can I si-"

"No, that's alright. Are you a soprano or an alto?"

Red eyes blinked blankly at her. Miss Julie gently pulled her aside to allow other kids to get to their seats. "Do you sing high or low?"

Gillian shrugged. "I dunno. Can I just sit with Francis and 'Tonio?"

Miss Julie sighed. "Francis is an alto, and Antonio is soprano. Tell you what, you can sit with Antonio for now, and tell me if it's too hard to sing, alright?"

"It won't be too hard! I'm awesome!"

Miss Julie watched the girl scramble excitedly up the benches, not paying any attention to the winces and indignant cries of those who were being elbowed aside. Antonio scooted over, delighted to have his friend nearby.

"Alright, my choristers. Let's begin! Today we're going to learn a new song. Some of you might know it already – has anyone here seen the movie _Bambi_?"

About two-thirds of the room raised their hands. Exactly 1/32 though, began flailing excitedly.

"I've seen it! It was happy, but scary, and sad when the mommy deer dies, because the hunter shoots her, but then Bambi grows up and gets really awesome, which you can see from the awesome antlers he grows, and-"

"Si, and the bunnies were very very cute!"

"Uh, okay, that's wonderful that you've seen_ Bambi_, because that's where this song is from. Gill, please don't talk until I call on you. Here's the music. Be careful now; they're originals." Miss Julie lifted up a stack of neatly folded packets and started to pass them out. Antonio opened one and began to explain sight reading to Gillian.

"So when the little dots go up, you sing higher, and when they go down, you sing lower. And we sing this part only, because we're the sopranos. The altos sing that line-"

"Does everyone have music? Good," Miss Julie announced. "Before we start singing, I'm going to play the tape so those who haven't heard it before will get an understanding of how it goes. Follow along in your music."

_Drip drip drop, little April shower,  
Beating a tune as you fall all around.  
Drip drip drop, little April shower,  
What can compare to your beautiful sound?  
Beautiful sound, beautiful sound.  
Drip, drop, drip, drop…_

_Drip drip drop, when the sky is cloudy,  
Your pretty music will brighten the day.  
Drip drip drop, when the sky is cloudy,  
You come along with a song right away.  
Come with your beautiful music!_

Miss Julie surveyed her brood carefully. The smaller children seemed happy with the extremely simple song, though the older ones didn't seem to mind either. Every eye was trained upon the folded papers in their hands. Antonio was still pointing out the changes in the musical notation to Gillian as the song progressed. Originally, the girl didn't look particularly interested in the lyrics, but about two minutes into the song, her eyes suddenly popped open.

"Thunderstorm sequence? That's awesome! I wanna be the thunder! Francis can be lightning! And Toni, you can be the rain!"

She began waving emphatically at Francis from across the room, and Miss Julie realized this was probably a moment to intervene. "Gill-"

"Hey Francis, now you can actually have an excuse to flash people! It's like your lightning attack!"

All the other children were now staring incredulously at the hyper eight-year old, who had taken to standing on her bench in excitement.

"BOOM! I'm the thunder!"

"Gill! Sit down right this instant. This isn't the ti-"

"BOOM! Watch out for the awesome thunder!" Gillian leaped off her perch to land hard and loud onto the wooden bench in the row in front of her. Which, unfortunately, was next to an extremely shy kindergarten girl who promptly burst into a fit of tears.

"Hey, don't cry. You can play too! You can be a raincloud, because you're crying, and that's like raindrops, kinda."

"_GILL!_"

* * *

Nearly a week later, Francis, Antonio and Gillian raced out of school and towards their favourite snack shop. After being sated with a cherry popsicle each, the three seated themselves on the curb and began to chat.

"So…Gilly, are you coming back to choir tomorrow?"

Gillian was busy licking the sticky, melted mess off her hands. "Nah…"

Antonio looked disappointed. "Aw, why not?"

"It's just not that awesome. Why sing about a thunderstorm if you can't _be_ the thunderstorm?"

"You knocked over two benches and made someone cry! And then that kid who keeps his keys attached to his belt puked all over the floor-"

"That's not _my_ fault!" Gillian frowned at Francis's accusation. "Just because it was my first time there doesn't mean everything happened because of me."

"Then why are you leaving?"

Gillian finished her popsicle and began chewing on the stick. "Hmm. I don't think it's my thing…I don't like sitting on a bench all afternoon. That's boring!"

"But that's okay," she announced generously. "You guys can still go."

"I don't think you have a say whether we do," Francis remarked drily.

"I'm going to do something more awesome on Saturdays!" She grinned at them with slightly stained teeth. "Lizzy's mom told me about this girls' soccer team that she's in, and I wanna kick her butt. So while you guys are gonna be sitting in a boring room with boring music and boring everything, I'm going to show everyone just how awesome I am!"

And for emphasis, she flicked the popsicle stick out of her mouth, and delivered a spectacular kick that zoomed it across the street.

* * *

**A/N: Awww, I haven't written about these guys in so long. Side projects sidetrack. I love how in grade school, Francis and Antonio go to choir and Gillian plays soccer. That's just adorable.**

**YET ANOTHER THEATRE REFERENCE. WHO CAN GET IT? Here's a clue: think Nordic.**

**On a completely unrelated note, I would just like to use this time to lament the fact that I think I'm going to have to drop my minor. The reason is that I'm going into my fourth year, and I would really like to still graduate on time, but a course required for this minor has a conflict with a drama course I refuse to drop (it's hard to get into, and I got accepted). It's okay because I'm a specialist, so I don't **_**need**_** a minor, but I guess I wasted two credits on film technique and theory now…sigh, I was so looking forward to taking Chinese cinema in the summer too :C But on the bright side, I think I'm going to use the remainder of needed credits on history courses! I'm applying for History of China and History of Hong Kong. I've never taken a history class (except for theatre history) in university before, so I'm very, very excited.**


	12. Sail, Sail, Sailing

**Story #11: Adventures On the High Seas! Er, I Mean, Lake.**

**A/N: This takes place in the summer between **_**World Wide Story**_** and **_**All The Answers**_**.**

**Axis Powers Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya.  
"I'm On A Boat" belongs to The Lonely Island.  
**

* * *

"We're on a boat! We're on a boat! Everybody look at us 'cos we're sailing on a boat!"

Antonio was very, very happy. It had been incredibly relieving to discover that Francis and Gillian had indeed planned one last big bash before going off on their exciting trip to Europe. So here they were – sailing on the lake in a really nice boat, during the last official week of summer. In a few days, everyone would be leaving the city or going back to school. Antonio was immensely grateful to his uncle for giving him time off to say goodbye. And what a wonderful way to end things! It was better than anyone could have imagined – who would have expected them to acquire such a fancy yacht? And who would have allowed Gillian and Francis, of all people, upon it?

"Gill! Stop climbing over everything. Especially there, or else I can't steer!"

That person would be, strangely, Roderich. He was, after all, one of the wealthiest students at school. It was only natural that he would be the most likely to be a member of the boat club, with access to a family yacht. The unexpected part was his agreement to play host to Francis and Gillian's going-away "party."

Antonio was, surprisingly, less…well, _surprised_ than he thought he would have been about. So it turned out that Roderich had a soft spot for them too! But really, who wouldn't? Francis and Gillian were the best friends anyone could ever have.

It was as if providence was actually looking out for them – the sky was the brightest blue with fluffy clouds bobbing far up in the air. The sun was high and beaming, but the speed of their craft kept a healthy breeze whipping around them – making Gillian's bangs stick straight up on end, and Feliciana's ponytail flap around like a hyperactive puppy's tail.

The girls in question were currently milling around excitedly at the front of the top deck, chattering incessantly and absolutely high on life. Roderich was managing to maintain rigid composure even while Francis was jabbing at him both verbally and physically, taking advantage of the temporary disappearance of Elizabeta downstairs. Across from Antonio, Ludwig sat with a book. He had one eye on the pages and the other on his sister and Feliciana, making for very slow reading progress.

And this led up to the last, most special person on board. Antonio suddenly felt something tickle his neck, and looked over to his right.

"Stupid fucking wind! Stupid fucking hair!"

Lovina was desperately trying to keep her own long tendrils in check as the wind billeted them all over the place. Antonio tried and failed to suppress a giggle.

"Lovi, you look like a seaweed plant! Or a gorgon, except prettier and not so evil…"

"Shut up! It's not funny!" She tucked several strands behind her ear, just to let them fly out again. "ARGH!"

"Here, let me." He reached over and with one quick motion, scooped up that lovely chestnut hair in one hand, managing to twist it around his fingers.

"There," he smiled. "Is that better?"

Lovina shot him an embarrassed, irritated, half-hearted scowl. A little bottom lip sticking out just so slightly, such clear brown eyes eying him suspiciously…still framed by little waving lines of hair, since he hadn't been very neat about it.

Who cared what anyone else thought, he had the most beautiful girlfriend in the universe. And he was going to kiss her.

…That is, if it weren't for an untimely interruption from Ludwig, of all people. Antonio accidently tugged hard on Lovina's hair when the shout startled him.

"Feli! Don't even think about it! Gill, get down from that thing right this instant! And don't forget to put on more sunscreen…"

Lovina stopped yelping just enough to peer forward, and then she, too, was screaming. Gillian was standing on top of the rail at the very front, offering a hand towards Feliciana, who was looking absolutely delirious with excitement at the prospect of more daring exploits with Miss Awesome.

"Gillian," Roderich said sternly, "If you fall and damage something on this yacht, I will make sure you will pay for it. Not your parents, not Ludwig, but _you_ specifically- "

Francis cut him off smoothly. "And if your precious yacht breaks something on our dear Gilly, you can foot the hospital bill too, Roddy. So good to know you're so concerned for your friends' well being…"

"She'd survive. Unfortunately."

Lovina, unsuccessful at making Feliciana heed her, resumed pouting. Which was _unbearably_ cute. And the way she unconsciously squirmed into a more comfortable position against his arm was even more so.

She yelped as he crushed her into an unprecedented hug.

"S-Stop smothering me! Idiot!"

"Awww, can't you let me this one time?"

"I just want to _breathe_…"

That wasn't flat-out refusal, which could – and would - be interpreted as an open invitation. Ludwig stared determinedly at his book, not even sparing a glance towards the mildly scuffling couple across from him.

"Oh, you guys…"

Elizabeta appeared in the hatch doorway, bearing a tray of drinks. "I love how you two are still together long after the play finished. But Lovina, come on! Give him a break!"

"Yeah, Lovi! Show us your cute side…"

Lovina froze, red-faced, allowing just enough time for Antonio to finally steal a kiss on the cheek.

"Mm, that was some spirit you were displaying there," came another voice. Francis was ambling towards them again, having grown bored of heckling their captain. Picking up a cup from Elizabeta's tray, he smirked. "Don't forget now…there are beds downstairs if you need to use them…"

"SHUT UP!"

Antonio suddenly felt his back whamming hard into the seat back as Lovina pushed off against him to fly at her instigating cousin. Ludwig's attention was forced away from his book just in time to see a wincing Francis stagger backwards, spilling his drink and colliding into Roderich. Who, upon seeing the lovely purple stain now blossoming on the previously white shirt, screamed and accidentally yanked down on the steering wheel. Gillian and Feliciana, both of which were teetering precariously on the railing, dipped dangerously as the boat swooped to the left.

"Whoa! Awesome!"

"_Veeee!_"

"Oh my god, GILLIAN! FELI!"

"Look what you've done now, pervert!"

"How is this my fault?"

"Elizabeta, what is this? Ribena? Do you _know _how much sugar they put in that stuff?"

Antonio sat there, perplexed, as Ludwig ran past him to help his sister. Lovina was already hoisting Feliciana back into a seat, but not before she'd stomped on Francis's foot. Roderich looked like he was going to burst into tears.

Elizabeta was wagging her finger angrily at Francis. "You! Whenever anything happens around here, it's always because of _you_…"

"It was worth it."

"My shirt!" wailed Roderich.

"Are you alright? Anything bruised or broken?" Ludwig asked anxiously. Gillian hauled herself back up the side and grinned.

"That was AWESOME! Roddy, do it again!"

"What the fuck was that? I told you not to do that, damnit!"

"Vee…sorry, Lovi…don't be mad…"

Antonio sighed. He was going to miss them all so much.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah…this was quite one-sided in regards to the trio. I kind of miss writing this pairing though, haha. But ultimately I'd rather expand on the others, so no full-length Spamano stories right now! :3**


	13. Triple Date

**Story #13: Triple Date**

**A/N: Happy new year! My resolutions are to get better grades, improve my writing, and to return to a dependable update schedule. So obviously I begin with the one that is meant to update sporadically. Next week though...!**

**This takes place some vague time while they're in high school. And Vivie is a one-time OC; she doesn't represent a nation or anything.**

**Axis Powers Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya.**

* * *

Francis was early. He always made a point to be early. It made them feel better, you see...showed that he had considered this meeting as a priority. They were special to him.

He leaned against the patio fence, taking off his sunglasses. It was still unbearably bright, but eye contact was crucial. As was proven when a very cute waiter came out to ask if he wished to be seated, getting all embarrassed when he received a polite refusal and a sly wink in return.

Just as the flustered boy went back inside, Francis glanced away to see a teenage girl darting across the street. Ahh.

He smirked when it was clear that she was absolutely breathless. To be fair, she _had_ been running. But it also looked like she was extremely nervous just by the looks of him. Well, why wouldn't she? Francis was awesome.

"Hey, Vivie," he said lightly. "Made it alright?"

Vivie nodded and managed a sheepish smile. Her hair had fallen into minor disarray, so Francis leaned forwards to tuck a strand behind her ear.

"That's better," he smiled.

The not-bad-looking-at-all waiter from before emerged again, and led them to a table out on the patio with just the slighest hint of disappointment. Francis looked around. At eleven in the morning, this part of the city was still sleepy and serene, leaving the two of them as the only couple sitting outside. Perfect.

"So," he leaned his elbows on the table and rested his chin on his hands. "How was your sleep last night?"

"Good," she replied. Having regained her composure, Vivie imitated the same pose. Ah, how cute. "After all, I had something to look forward to the next day."

Oh, so now it was flirty. Francis grinned. This was his game.

"You're definitely right. This is a top quality place." He idly fingered the menu in front of him. "My mother is a chef, and she recommended it."

"Aw, how sweet." Vivie didn't let on that she hadn't been talking about food, and Francis was pleased that she was playing along. "That's so cool of her. What about your dad?"

"He didn't have much of a say, since he lives in Paris. Say, have you ever been there?"

The tinge of envy was noticable from her sigh. "No..."

"You should. It's really everything they say about it - you know, the city of _lights_."

It was as if he'd said a different L-word. Vivie brightened and giggled at him. Their waiter returned to take their orders, and Francis shot him a smile. Because that little fauxhawk and tiny glass stud in one ear did make him pretty cute.

But first things first. There was a young lady sitting across from him who was being far too obvious to be coy. Which made everything a lot more endearing, actually, and Francis couldn't help feeling so amused and pleased with the turnout of this meeting. After a few more lines of the same, roundabout banter, Mr. Fauxhawk returned with a tray.

Vivie let out a small squeal of delight. "Oooh, how cute!"

Francis laughed as the neat platters of silverware were set in front of them. "I know tea is usually done in the afternoon - one of my friends is British and very fussy about these things - but why not go for the...let's say, unusual?"

He picked up the teapot and nodded towards her cup. She obligingly nudged it forwards, watching the stream of amber land neatly into the porcelain.

"I like unusual. It's _most _exciting."

"FRANCIS!"

The shout startled him enough to drip some tea onto the tablecloth. Oh, damn.

Francis and Vivie looked up to see two people on the far side of the road, waving furiously. One dark haired, the other silver.

Oh, _damn._

He set the teapot down while the newcomers ran haphazardly across the street, narrowly missing a cab which honked angrily at them. Antonio paused to gesture an apology.

As such, Gillian arrived first. "Yo!"

"Hi, Gill," Francis said testily. Vivie was staring at Gillian in disbelief. The intruder herself was leaning over the patio fence, grinning madly and obviously not worried one jot about invading a stranger's personal space.

"Who's this one, Fran-Fran?" Gillian didn't bother waiting for an answer. She reached over to snatch up a pastry from the tiered tray. "Strawberry! Awesome!"

Antonio had managed to placate the cab driver, so it seemed. Passing the fence entirely, he grabbed a chair from a neighbouring table and dragged it over. Scooting right up to the table, he beamed at Vivie as if he had been waiting forever to meet her.

"Hola! I'm Antonio. You must be Tara, right?"

Francis could have smacked him. Vivie shook Antonio's hand stiffly.

"Vivie, actually."

Antonio tilted his head to the side, not registering. Then, it hit him, and his eyes widened in understanding.

"...OHHHH! Ah, I'm sorry!"

Gillian didn't mask her laughter, crumbs and strawberry juice on her fingers. "Yeah, that was fast."

Vivie looked incredibly unsettled. Antonio, now having stolen a cup from the same table, was pouring himself some tea.

"Too bad you're not a guy," he mused blithely. "He tends to stay a bit longer with the guys. I think it's because around here, it's harder to find some that are interested."

Mr. Fauxhawk reappeared and offered to add another table to accomodate for all of them. He seemed far more cheered by the presence of a group, rather than a couple. Vivie certainly didn't. While Gillian and Antonio were rather unusual and most certainly exciting, this seemed to be the last thing she wanted. Francis concurred with that last sentiment.

Antonio was busily pouring Gillian a cup of tea as she hopped over the railing to plop herself down across from him.

"But don't worry! I'm sure you're very, very nice, and you'll definitely have lots of fun with Francis!"

"Thanks," Vivie mumbled. Francis angrily poked Antonio in the ribs.

"Ow!" Big green eyes stared back at him in confusion. "Oh, would you like more tea?"

Antonio had a horrible reputation for being painfully clueless about hints. Vivie seemed very disconcerted about having to sit next to Gilian, which was not without reason. The girl was leaning in very close.

"Oooh, you smell like oranges. That's awesome. What kind of shampoo do you use?"

Antonio folded his hands on the table and stared at Vivie like a job interviewer scrutinizing a prospective employee. "So! How long have you two known each other?"

Vivie blinked, looking lost at all the questions thrown at her. Francis decided it was time to take action, leaning forward to slap Gillian's wrist from taking the last strawberry tart.

"_I _met Vivie-" Emphasis on the I. "-at Twin Pine Mall two days ago. Just helped her choose between scarves. And that's all _you _need to know."

"Aww, that's so nice!"

"What were you doing at the mall? Malls are so not awesome!" Somehow, the tart had managed to find its way onto Gillian's plate. "Hey, Vivie! Did Francis tell you the story how he lost his virginity?"

Vivie's expression clearly showed that no, he certainly never did. Gillian barrelled on.

"Dude, it's so awesomely funny. So like in grade nine, there was this college party..."

Vivie, carefully avoiding everybody's gaze now, fidgeted in her seat. Attempting to save this one more time, Francis interrupted.

"What are you two doing here anyway?"

Antonio stopped buttering his roll to brighten up. "Oh! Well, you know that thing where-"

Gillian burst in too. "Yeah, we were going to look for some because they're just too totally awesome-"

The incorrigible duo erupted into a torrent of excited chatter, loud exclamations and garbled words. Vivie had slowly edged away from Gillian, almost leaning on the railing now. She kept on glancing down at her lap, eyes darting up every few seconds. Francis, in spite of himself, was at a loss of how to make them _go away_.

Gillian actually paused for a moment and leaned over. "Hey, who are you texting?"

The entire table stared at Vivie as she blushed and stammered. "I...my friend...has a kind of...emergency, issues with...stuff. I have to go."

Francis pushed his chair back. "I'll walk you."

"N-no, that's okay!" Vivie stumbled and almost tripped over the chair leg as she stood up hastily. Her purse clattered to the floor, but she didn't say a word when Gillian picked it up and offered it to her.

"I should at least-"

"No! I'm fine."

Antonio turned to watch the girl scurry off.

"She didn't even finish her tea!"

Francis glared at him. Gillian finished off the tarts, shrugging. "What? Not my fault if she can't handle the awesome!"

Antonio, still not noticing, wiped his mouth on the napkin and stretched. "Mm, that was good! Thanks, Fran-fran. Let's go, Gilly!"

And with a smirk and a punch on the shoulder, they were suddenly gone, scampering down the street and already lost in their own little world of awesome.

The same waiter from before came over, bill in hand and an amused half-smile on his face. He watched Francis thumb through his wallet irritably.

"Fun friends," he remarked.

"Yeah, fun." Francis picked up the reciept.

"Thanks for putting up with them...Calvin."

Calvin smiled and swept up the change, leaving Francis sitting by himself, holding the tiny slip of paper.

_Calvin 555-XXXX  
Free Thursday nights._

Francis grinned and pocketed the reciept. Okay, so maybe this hadn't been such a bad date after all.

* * *

**A/N: I did say once that Gillian is the cockblocker of the century. And Antonio...is Antonio. He just likes **_**everybody**_**. **

**I also don't know what they're looking for. Something really awesome I guess, like Dan Witz street art. Then they'd get hopelessly lost, like I did when I went to Brooklyn to find some.**

**There actually is a Francis loss of virginity story. It was originally made up as a joke between a friend and me, then we decided to incorporate it into this AU's canon. :3**


End file.
